Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
