We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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