Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your penis caused this!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
