I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
