Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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