just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
