thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
