You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
