Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
