Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
