my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
