dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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