If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yo dont text me then not text me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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