i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
