If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
