return my video game
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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