remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
