so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
