What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
