How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
