I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
