So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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