dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
