I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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