They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
