So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
