Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
