is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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