You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
