Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
