So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i think i just lost a toe
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
