I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
