so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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