I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
