just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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