I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
