He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
