Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
