What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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