And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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