Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
