my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
bring money and cleavage
Dignity is for republicans.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Pooping to opera.
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