i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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