Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
