i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You ruined the universe
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