Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
