As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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