Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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