Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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