thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
