just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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